It came from the Kitchen
by Greenliongirl88
Summary: Its King Regis's birthday and well intended treat turns into a nightmare.


Prompto approached the kitchen of the Citadel with caution. Inside, Noctis was flipping through recipes for cakes. While Noctis was talented at many things, baking wasn't his best skill; actually, Noctis wasn't that skilled at cooking in general aside from cup noodle- even after working in a restaurant! He was however determined to make a cake for his father's 50th birthday.

There would be a huge public celebration with a grand ball and banquet after speeches from his friends and Noctis, yet Regis tended to enjoy the small private party with his close friends and son much more. Sure the public party was fun, but it was so much more being around his child and deareast companions. Having a little extra cake would be the icing on . . . Well, the cake.

"So, where's Iggy?" Asked Prompto. Noctis looked up from the cookbook.

"Ignis has to help with the catering and he mentioned something about mending one of my dad's capes. You would think the royal tailors could do the simple stuff like that." Sighed the prince. He really wished Ignis was here to help; Ignis could've been a master chef if he wanted.

"Really? Didn't you just order some stuff from that girl we graduated with? I know I saw two capes and some kind of robes on that invoice you signed." Prompto replied sarcastically. Noctis cooking without Ignis was a recipe for disaster.

"Yeah, well Lexa does good work. Besides, I need to look the part of prince for the big public kiss the king's ass party. The robes are . . . For something down the road. And I needed something besides that pendent to give dad." Said Noctis. He had met with Lexa in private and she was able to get the necklace and make the cape in secret. His dad always tried to give him the perfect birthday, this year he wanted to do the same.

"And Gladio is on guard duty?" Asked Prompto.

"I agreed to stay here the next few days so he could help security. Even Iris is here." Answered Noctis. He put down the cookbook on a double chocolate cake with a fudge frosting.

"So, I die alone. Please make sure my funeral is nice. Also, if my parents don't come please guilt trip them everyday on how they not only missed 90% of my childhood, my high school graduation, and my entry into crownsguard training but my final send off." Replied Prompto. Then it hit him. "Hey, why don't you just use magic?"

"Because rule one of magic: don't use it for the mundane tasks you can do on your own. Don't you remember the story of the chef who had an enchated pot that never stopped cooking spaghetti?" Asked Noctis.

"Dude, 90% of my childhood!" Prompto protested. "Besides, it's probably just some story to keep you from being lazy. Just a little magic won't hurt."

Noctis carefully tried to follow the instructions, until he realized he hadn't melted the chocolate. He sighed when Prompto eagerly handed him a metal bowl for chocolate chips. Prompto watched as the bags was poured into the bowl as Gladio crept into the kitchen to sneak up behind the preoccupied prince.

"Surpise!"yelled the shield, which caused Noctis to summon a small flame that instantly melted the chips.

"Gladio! Can't believe I melted them all! Geez." Scolded Noctis.

"Well, you were going to melt it anyway. What harm could it cause? " chriped Prompto.

"Yeah, not that working harder wouldn't hurt you. " added Gladio. He laughed. "Besides it not like you can make anything edible. Don't tell me you believe those fairy tales about sorcerers and witches making food come to life!"

"I thought you had a patrol , for once." Noctis pointed out. He wasn't amused.

"Well, a royal busboy in the kitchen could pose a health hazard." Gladio knew Noct was trying, but he couldn't help making fun of the prince's efforts.

Reluctantly, Noctis folded the chocolate into the batter and placed it in several pans. The prince and Prompto left to play videogames while the cakes baked and Gladio returned to his "patrol"; he returned with Ignis.

"I've no doubt his heart is in the right place, but our crown prince isn't much of a baker." Sighed Ignis. He pulled the partly cooked cakes out of the oven. "We need to hide these where hopefully no one will sample them."

"Got any places in mind?" Asked Gladio. This was one time he was protecting the king and the prince from the latter. "Noct put alot of effort in these."

"Fortunately the Citadel has multiple kitchens and dining rooms. We can drop the cakes off in different locations to make it look like someone else took them." Answered Ignis. "We can even drop on off in the Glaives barracks. When Noct comes to check on them, I can help him with a simple acceptable confection."

"You sure?" Gladio was more nervous.

"Under my supervision, I guarantee the prince will create something not only edible, but delicious as well." Promised Ignis.

They took the cakes to various places in the Citadel, unaware of what they had just done.

* * *

The king wasn't exactly happy for this mile stone as he had been for his son's 20th birthday months ago. There was nothing wrong with getting older except he now used a cane, could barely summon his sword, and substain the wall, and his doctor was constantly getting on to him about his diet and weight, and looking at the mirror and remembering his own father . . . On second thought, yeah there was alot to hate about being old.

Regis knew the cards and well wishes were meant with good intentions. He glanced at the selfie on his phone Noctis had pulled him into. It was hard not to think of Noctis as a little boy, but there was no denying his son was becoming a fine- if at times rebellious- young man. The king stillloved to bragged about Noct being top of his class. And the picture of the two of them, even with the gray hair and wrinkles he was proud of the image.

"At least he hasn't gotten a tattoo or earring yet." Said Regis. Maybe he was just too old fashioned. Well, at half a century he was certain that he could cheat on his low fat low cholesterol diet for one day; not like that would kill him. He snuck into the kitchen where Clarus was waiting with his arms across his cheast.

"Really, Regis? Sneaking into the kitchen to steal cookies like when we were kids?" Laughed the old shield. He shook is head.

"Oh, like you don't from time to time? It's my birthday and I want something sweet." Argued the king. "At 50, I think I can have a piece of cake without getting lectured like a child!"

Clarus shook his head with disapproving grin. "I am starting to think a sweet tooth runs in the royal bloodline deeper than the magic."

"Perhaps it does. So, do you really intent to stop me?" Answered the king. He was more than alittle annoyed. "Do I have to duel you and beat your boney ass like when we were kids?"

"No, not like you can now. And such language! What would your father say?" Teased Clarus.

"At my age I can make my own decisions! It's not as though I'll get much of a chance to eat at that blasted ball the council throws every year advertising my age." Huffed Regis.

"Lucis loves its king and prince. Getting older is natural. Remember how tiny Prince Noctis was when he was born?" Clarus finally began to calm the king down. "I know you would've kept him an innocent child forever, yet can you deny him his future?"

"No. You know nothing is more dear to me, not even the Crystal. " sighed Regis. "Any chance I could just order you to let me by for a snack?"

"You could've just asked in the first place! Besides, I could use a little snack myself." Answered Clarus. He opened the door to find what appeared to be a Flan in the middle of the floor. It turned toward them.

"How did that thing get in here?" Asked Regis. It was growing in size.

"Does it really matter?" Answered the shield. They summoned their swords as the flan began its assault.

* * *

Libertius knew that smell anywhere: chocolate cake! There on one of the benches sat a cake still in the pan, and still liquid in the middle. He summoned a small flame to help it finish baking. Crowe and Nyx just looked at him.

"Since when do you cook?" Asked Crowe. She studied the brown goop as it almost started to boil under the flame.

"Come on! Me and Nyx used to own a bar together! Good food, good beer, great wine, and lovely company. Thoses were the the days, huh, Nyx?" Reminisced Libertius.

"Yeah, but we didn't offer that many desserts. Mostly whatever crazy recipe Serena picked out that day or our mothers made." Corrected the other man. He missed his mother's ginger bread with fresh berries and a scoop of ice cream. He even missed his sister's attempts to help out.

"Well, some idiot left a partly cooked cake here so I'm finishing it." Laughed Libertius.

"Are you sure its safe?No poison or nuts?" Asked Crowe. Libertius stopped. He made a sour face as he put the cake back on the bench.

"Point taken. I hate being allergic to nuts." Grumbled Libertius.

"And the possibility of poison?" Asked Nyx. He shook his head.

"Can't be as bad as Crowe's cooking." Mumble Libertius. She shot him a glare and punched him in the arm.

"Let's to some drills. We can . . . What on Eos did you do to that cake?" Screamed Crowe. The cake started moving and pushing itself out of the pan. It lunged toward Libertius.

* * *

Dustin, Monica and Iris were in the banquet hall helping decorate for the King's birthday party later that evening. Even with all the black and gold decorations around the gothic regal furniture, it looked very festive. Monica and Iris were putting the finishing touches on the windows.

"All these streamers and balloons make it feel more like a high school prom than our king's birthday." Chirped Iris. Dustin was sweeping near the entry to the ballroom room which would be receiving guests in a few hours.

"Well, everyone seems happy. The Gods blessed us with a benevolent king." Replied Monica. " Can you hand me that lantern?"

"Not to mention a kind hearted prince. We are lucky." Said Dustin. He attached the lantern to the window. He felt like whistling a sweet tune as the strange scent filled the air. Dustin looked at Monica. "Have they started bringing food out already?"

"No, not for a couple more hours, at the very least." Answered Monica. Yet there was no denying the smell of chocolate cake baking.

"Then where is that sweet smell coming from?" Asked Dustin. He cloused his eyes to try to locate the smell.

"Yeah, I thought they were using the main Kitchen for the food this year." Added Iris.

"Maybe they had a problem with one of the ovens and had to use another kitchen as well." Monica tried think of a logical answer.

"Allow me to check it out." Dustin opened the door to find some kind of brown slime bubbling and oozing out of a trash can. He carefully approached it with his sword drawn. "Monica, get Lady Iriss out of here!"

"What's going on?" Iris turned to see the creature when Monica grabbed her hand to pull her to safety. Dustin closed the door and secured it as the creature made a jump for him. As luck would have it, at that time Marshall Cor Leones was walking by.

"Marshall, we have a daemon in the hallway." Warned Dustin. He pushed it back from the door. The creature hissed as he cut it.

"I can see that." Core drew his sword. "We have to get rid of this thing quickly before anyone can get hurt."

"Guests will be arriving within three hours." Dustin beat the creature to the opposite wall. Cor tried to slash at it.

"Then we need to act quickly and get to the king and Prince!" Cor parried and held the glob. "We have to make sure they're both are right alright above all else. That all you got, ugly. How about you try me on for size?"

* * *

Noctis and Prompto returned to the kitchen they had to put the cakes in to bake. Ignis and Gladio were both there as the younger men realized their cakes were gone.

"What happened?" Asked Noctis. Even the cake pans were no where to be found.

"Someone must have gotten hungry and decided to sampled your confections, your highness." Answered Ignis. He knew he had saved his charge from an upset stomach.

"Well, at least they get what's coming to them." Added Gladio. He gave Noctis a pat on the back. "It will for eating someone else's food without asking."

"Wait I worked really hard on that!" Argued Noctis.

"True, but would you really be okay serving your old man something that Ignis did help you with?" Prompto chriped. He was so happy he wouldn't be the guine pig to his friend's cake.

"Yeah, I guess you're right, but now what am I going to do?" Sighed Noctis. "I was really wanted to I try to make cake for my dad."

"Don't worry, your highness." Ignis pulled out a cook book. He opened it to a bookmarked page. "I have a cookie recipe that might be able to help. It's very simple, it doesn't take too much time, and it's guaranteed to make the most scrumptious cookies you've ever tasted."

"Okay, let's get started." Noctis looked at the page. The picture did look good. "Prompto, break out the aprons."

"What? Again? Come on, man!" Prompto complained. He buried his head in his arms on the counter.

"All right. You don't help, you don't eat." Declared the prince. Prompto looked up at him.

"Ignis is our leader on this baking mission?' Asked Prompto. Ignis nodded. He was a bit conceded behind his glasses. "On second thought, let me grab the Wooden Spoons." Gladio slapped the blond on the back and laughed.

* * *

Regis tried to to slice thru the daemon, but his attacks seemed ineffective. The king tried to summon his Aminger as the creature made another lunge toward him and Clarus. The shield had exchanged his sword for a shield. "Where did this thing come from?"

"We can figure that out after we defeated it!" The king said. This was troubling. He parried, but the creature was unphased.

"I can't believe my men would allow this." Lamented Clarus. He shoved the monster into a wall, but it managed to slip past him.

"It may not have been their fault." Regis had the creature cornered.

"Really demons in the Citadel? It's not like they can come out of the walls and floor, much less out of thin air."pointed out Clarus. " The crystal stops this."

"True, but you know there is a legend and about why most well most kings and queens don't learn how to cook." The king tried to rationalize it, but could that old fairy tale be true?

"I thought . . . " started Clarus as the monster attacked him. He throwit off with his shields. "I thought it was just because they're lazy."

"Ha, ha, very funny." Regis said sarcastically. "Apparently if you use magic irresponsibly or for mundane tasks such as preparing food, it will do something to whatever you're handling."

"Oh, like turning pudding into a monster." He could only guess that was what the creature was orginally.

"That might be a bit extreme, but it might be possible." Regis held the monster back with his sword.

"What? You think we live in a realm of fantasy?" Joked Clarus. He joined the king in blocking the door.

"You realize I have magic, right?" Asked Regis. His eyes tried to keep up with the creature.

"Magic is one thing, but science fiction . . . "

"We'll figure it out, eventually." and with that Regis unleased a fireball directly at the slimy cake monster. It growled and hissed as it started to stiffen and struggled to run.

"It doesn't like fire." Observed Clarus. "Good job, your majesty. Too bad you can't share that ability with your shield."

"But I'm sure I have enough enegery left for another fireball!" The king unleashed a second one towards the monster before could reach the door. The monster exploded on to both of them covering the kitchen. "That was unexpected and tiring. Now I really could use a snack."

Clara's licked his face and spit the goop into a trash can. "Whatever you do, do not try this. I think someone mixed up the salt with sugar!"

"Thank you for the advice." Regis wiped the chucks and uncooked batter off his face when a thought struck him. " What if that creature was after . . . Oh, please, no. Noctis! What if . . . ?!We have to find him quickly!"

* * *

"Get this get this thing off of me!" screamed Libertius. He was struggling to stay out of the creature's mouth.

"Serves you right for trying to eat something someone left in our locker room! Really? You know what people do in here!" Crowe tried blasting the monster with lighting, but nearly hit her friend.

"Save the lectures for after this monster's dead!" Ordered Nyx. He tried his dagger, but it didn't even phase the monster.

"Maybe some ice?" Crow used an ice attack. The creature froze with Libertius pinned underneath.

"Well, you always did have bad taste woman." Joked Nyx. He surveved the monster.

"Ha, ha, Hero. You are a barrel of laughs." Grumbled Libertius. "At least the Captain is off today. Bad enough you two won't let me hear the end of . . ."

"Guys, the cake thing is thrawing!" Crowe panicked as she saw brown drips falling and the monster shifting under the ice. She motitioned for Nyx to get ready before unleashing a ball of fire towards it. It howeled in pain, leap off libertus and squeezed through a door.

"Come on! We have to follow it!" Nyx started towards the door.

"Aren't we going to question where it came from?" Asked Libertius. He tried to wipe some of the batter off.

"First, we have to neutralize whatever that was." Explained Crowe. "We have to make sure everyone is safe."

"Can't we at least call for backup first?" Sighed Libertius. He wasn't sure he wanted to be a desert's main course.

"Alright, you call for backup. Crowe, let's bake this cake!" Nyx tried not to laugh.

"That's how this mess started!" Yelled Libertius. "What's the difference? "

"Because you were going to eat it." Crowe whispered as they followed a half baked trail. "And you had no idea where it came from!"

"What? You don't think I would've turned into a giant humanoid cake monster or something like in that movie?" Argued Libertius.

"We can talk about this later!" Nyx used his com link. "Luche, I need you to get the Glaives to the main hall in the barracks ASAP."

"Why?" Asked the younger Glaive.

"There's a demon in the Citadel." Explained Nyx. He peered around the corner, watching it. "A big one."

"On the King's Birthday! How did it get in?" Luche was caught off guard.

"Let's ask questions later! We have to hurry!"

"You got it, Nyx!" Luche began calling every Glaive available.

* * *

"Marshall, it's times like this I wish I could've learned how to use Magic." Lamented Dustin. Their attacks were doing little to no damage. Cor was holding the cake back with all his might.

"Yes, well you can talk to the king about it later, Dustin." Reassured Cor. There was no time to think about defeat. That thought was the downfall of more people than overconfidence.

"Cor, what's going on?" Asked the king. He and Clarus were covered in . . . Mud?

"Another one? Really?" Clarus shouted in disgust.

"Another one?" The Marshall didn't like the sound of that.

"I'll explain later!" Clarus got a message on his head set." I just got a report that there's one in the Glaives' Barracks. What is going on here?"

Regis used another fireball. This time the cake ran the other way. "it's heading towards. . .?"

"The Barracks! What would happen if the two were to meet?" Asked Dustin.

"Do you really want to find out? Whatever that thing is, we have to beat it!" The king was already limping, but he refused to sit around and do nothing.

"I'm tempted to say it was it's already been beaten and that maybe be part of the problem." Observed Cor.

"It would take something like this for you to get regain your sense of humor." Clarus jjust shook his head.

"Well, considering what we are fighting, I half expect to be hearing cake puns for the next week." The Marshall answered. "Dustin, have Monica find Prince Noctis and keep him guarded until further notice. Let me know the moment you find him and secure."

"Yes, sir." Dustin started toward the Prince's wing. "I'm going to tell the rest of the Crown's Guard to stay on alert."

* * *

"So, shall we cut the cake?" Luche and some other Glaives blocked the creature's path forward. They started to charge.

"Hold on! Use your fire!" Ordered Nyx. Crowe already had a flame summoned.

"Take this!" Crow yelled. The cake turned toward her as she unleashed her fireball. It wimpered as It was about to weaken, but at that moment another cake monster appeared.

"There's two of them!?" Yelled Libertius. He groaned. "What is going on? Where did these . . .?"

"Nevermind. We have to stop them from . . . " ordered Regis. He and his companions arrived, but too late. "Oh no."

The two cake monsters combined into a giant cake. It had doubled in size and appeared to have two heads. It began to swipe at the humans surrounding it.

"It's a weak against fire!" The king knew he had to act. " Glaives, all of you use your fire power! The power of mine I lent to you to defend our kingdom! If ever there was a moment, now is that time!"

Everyone who could wield elental magic summoned a flame. They gave a nod to the king. They looked towards the cake monster. "Now!"

The king and his men threw their fire at the monster. It hissed and cried as it cooked and cracked on the outside. The Glaives and king were out of strength, but the monster was weakened. It started to crawl off when Cor sliced it in two with his massive sword.

"Well that's . . . you know, I'm not going to do it." Said Cor. "I've had enough of cake for today."

"Imagine being the one who has to blow out the candles in two hours." Sighed Regis. He leaned againsted a near by post when Nyx produced a chair for him. "Thank you."

"Well, you only turn 50 once." Regis glared at his friend for the reminder. Cor's phone ring. "Understood. Your majesty, the prince and his friends are in one of the kitchens on the other side of the Citadel. . ."

"Oh no! We have to get there quickly!" The king bolted from the chair and they ran to the kitchen where Noctis was waiting with his friends. "Noct! Noct!"

"What's up, Dad? Is everything okay?" Noctis was pulling a sheet of freshly baked oatmeal raisin cookies out of the oven. He turned toward his dumbfounded father . . . who was covered in . . . mud ?. . . Like everyone else who had entered the kitchen. Did he miss something?

"You're . . . You're baking? " asked the king. "When did you start baking?"

"Something recent, you could say; I was hoping to make a cake for you for your birthday, but someone got to it first." Exclaimed the prince. He flipped the cookies on to a cooling rack with Ignis's approval. Noctis sighed as he pulled his oven mitts off. "Whoever it was ate all four cake layers. I'm sorry, Dad."

"It's okay. It's the thought that counts; besides, I think after today I've had enough cake for a while." Replied Regis. "And besides, these cookies you made look really good. I'm impressed!" he picked one off the cooling rack and took a bite out of it. To his surprise and relief, it was actually delicious. "Mmm . . . oatmeal raisin with dark chocolate chips. Nice and hot too. Every element complements the others. These are pretty good for a beginner baker."

"His Highness wanted to make them extra special; he insisted on adding some chocolate in the batter." Exclaimed Ignis. Prompto was just glad the king hadn't fallen ill.

"Very well. Come, sample my son's confections, my brothers and sisters!" Regis declared.

"Isn't the party in a couple hours?" Clarus pointed to his watch.

"It's my birthday. I'm not waiting a couple hours to enjoy my son's cooking." The king stuffed a cookie into his shield's mouth. It caught Clarus off guard, but he smiled as he ate it.

"I'll have the maids cleaning up after . . . the thing." Cor said. He wiped the batter from his face.

"Thank you, my friend." Regis accepted a cloth to clean up.

"Did something happen? Old man?" Asked Gladio. It wasn't like his father, much less the king to mud wrestle.

"Just alittle the problem with the catering." Answered Clarus.

"Shall I go and offer my assistance? " offered Ignis.

"No, you've done enough, my friend." Answered the king.

"Really, it's no trouble . . ." Ignis tried to object.

"Trust me, you've done enough and then some!" Interupted Clarus.

"Your majesty, if you don't mind me asking . . . Could you possibly tell me about the cook in that story with that pot that never stopped producing pasta out of thin air?" Asked Prompto.

"I thought everyone knew that story." Commented Cor.

"Once again! My parents literally missed out on 90% of my childhood!" Prompto yelled before shying away realizing who he had yelled at. Everyone just looked at him a minute, then Noctis gave his friend a nudge. "Your Majesty, at this point you're more of a father to me than my actual dad and I've only met you a handful of times."

"Well, traditionally a king views all his subjects as his children and is considered the father of his people." Regis laughed. He sat down. "All right. How about a story while we eat?"

"Sounds good." Answered Noctis. He began plating the cookies. He was glad they had made a gross. "Hey, Ignis, can we get some milk for our loyal Glaives and dear friends?"

"One moment, your highness." Ignis started to leave when Crowe added. " And if you can spare some towels, so we can get cleaned off it would be appreciated."

* * *

After the party, the king had a small celebration with his son and their closest companions. Regis insisted on tucking Noctis into bed like when he was little.

"You know you don't have to." Argued the prince. Prompto had been invited to stay the night and was getting the same treatment in the guest room next to his.

"I know, but even though you're not a little boy anymore I still feel I need to look after you." Laughed Regis. "It's hard not to see you running around playing soccer or trying to steal a piece of cake before dinner."

"By the way, thanks for telling Prompto that story. I think you made his year." Sighed Noctis. "It reminds me how lucky I am."

"A complement? From you? You must be maturing." Joked Regis. He petted his son's head.

"Well, even with all of Lucis looking to you for guidence and leadership you still gave me whatever time you could. Plus, it was only you." Explained Noctis. "And Prompto. . . "

"I know." Said Regis. In unison they groaned, ". . . 90% of his childhood."

"Sleep well, my little prince." Regis smiled to leave and heard, "Night, dad. You are still awesome."

The king shut the door and fist pumped, "I'm still awesome!"

Clarus laughed. "Well, good for you. I have an update on the missing cake."

"Please tell we aren't getting a sequel tonight." Sighed Regis.

"Well, the missing cake is dormant in the dungeon's mess hall." Said Clarus. "Its dark and cold. It shouldn't become a problem. I am still having it guarded."

"Good. I also instructed Ignis to keep a better eye on my son if he insists on learning how to cook." Added the king. "The last thing we need is another food monster attack. Imagine if it had been a seafood dish."

"Yeah, I don't want to have to fight my dinner more than once." Laughed Clarus. Then he had an idea. "Your Majesty, I just thought of something. What if we sent it to the Emperor? Easy way to end the war."

"I can see it now: Lucis wins war with baked goods. I don't think I could do that." That just seemed strange. "What if I invite him and his men to dinner and cook?"

" Are they on the menu or are you planning on poisoning them?"

* * *

A few months later, after the fall of Citadel, . . .

"Well, this couldn't get any worse." Complained Titus Dratos. He could barely move after his battle witg Nyx. "I'm stuck in this place with no one will find me, Nyx is gone and the Empire's basically abandoned me." He cursed at the sky. "I should have just stayed loyal to the Damn royal family. At least my men wouldn't leave me like this! And I actually had respect from the prince! I hadn't went to that stupid meeting the king's birthday . . . "

Without warning, a moldy cake monster Rose from one of the kitchens where the dungeon was located. It turned to him with a hungry smile. The former general watched as it started toward him. "What the . . . OH NO!"

the end?


End file.
